The following thoughts and attitudes were posted to the message board we used to run (but no longer have). They're very inspirational when things are getting you down.
Nikki posted the following excellent advice in response to a query from someone else about how you cope when all around people seem to be getting pregnant without even thinking about it:
"I have decided to change my whole outlook on the situation. Baby making is an amazing journey between you and your partner - it is only for you two. Each month you get to come together and be one in your attempts. No matter how it feels, this is really only about the two of you! This is a special time together with your love, make it fun. For instance, my husband and I are planning an "indoor campout", where we will set up a tent and sleeping bags in the living room and light the fireplace to cook hot dogs and marshmallows, for this month's fertile time. We know that once that baby arrives, times like these will be hard to come by. My 5 year marriage has been wonderful; I would not trade our time alone together for anything. Remember that this is a special time in your lives that should not be remembered as difficult and trying - conceive your baby in love, and in fun. You know that your planned pregnancy will be more of a joy in your life than those who had an "oops", those who did not plan and conceive their child in a union like yours."
And Zoe outlined her own fertility journey and then her attitude when coping with the two weeks after ovulation when you're constantly wondering if this is the month (commonly known as the 2ww or 2 week wait):
"[in the early days]
I was optimistic, didn't have many experiences to offer or share [to the message
board] and I was a little in awe of many of you who had such a wealth of
knowledge - what did I have to contribute? Then as the months went on, I went
through some dark days, when the things I could have posted would have brought
everyone else down, and were
largely rhetorical questions. More than anything, you have silently helped me through this by encouraging a sense of proportion!
In the last few months, I have felt an increasing sense of calm, almost tranquil and serene. Ask me again in a week's time when I am due, but I have come to almost enjoy the 2ww. I know this sound bizarre, but hear me out! Each 2ww I feel an almost radiant glow - at first this convinced me I was pregnant each time, but now I recognise it is me hugging the secret possibility of pregnancy to myself and enjoying it. The trick in this for me is balance, and recognising that it is a potential, so I do not become too disappointed if I am not. My husband has also become far better at playing the game. At first, pregnancy for him would only have become a reality with a positive line on a stick, and he worried that I would become
unhealthily obsessive if I indulged too much in the might-be's, but a few months ago I had an accident, and had to have treatment and medication during the 2ww and he began to understand that every month is a possibility, and how I could not avoid wondering if a baby was growing! So now we play the game together, and are the closer for it. We are treating each month almost as a rehearsal and enjoying it all the more. I think it is helping us prepare better emotionally for that as yet elusive positive line! Each month we learn a little more."
Last but not least, click here to read the story of Mrs P, a pregnancy success!