Emotional Impact of Infertility - Making Peace

Coming To Terms with Infertility

Going through infertility treatments is doubtless one of the most trying and stressful things any couple can do. If they can get through treatments intact, it is likely they will be able to conquer anything that confronts them in life together. Knowing they have survived the rigors of treatments, and the overwhelming and demanding schedule foisted upon them, can enforce a renewed sense of self-esteem and confidence. As with any major trauma or stress in life, arriving at the place of calm acceptance signals great accomplishment. Now the couple can begin re-establishing and prioritizing goals - making changes as they want and need.

The Pressure is Off - It's Time for US

When a couple reaches this point of making peace with their situation they are able to accept and recognize that they are not in control of every aspect of their lives, and that's okay. There is a stronger, deeper connection with each other along with the joint feeling that both people are exhausted and ready to move on. The relief at knowing there will be no more physical, emotional or financial strain makes everything seem lighter.

Having come through treatments for infertility and accepting the outcome enables a couple to understand some things that are too deep to be understood any other way. Empathy for others is heightened and the knowledge that good things can come out of hard situations is very real. Perhaps the primary success is the realization that life can be fulfilling despite not having achieved all of their goals.

The Outside World Is Different Now

Moving toward resolution enables a couple to communicate their infertility with others in a very different way. Instead of coming out of frustration, pain and defensiveness, they come from a place of resolve, calm and acceptance. This can be a very strengthening and encouraging sign for other couples. It is equally important to continue the healing process by working with a counselor or support group. By staying connected to the help-lines which were sought out at the beginning, a couple goes from strength to strength and can arrive at a place of deep healing.

Time to Reconnect

From the place of acceptance, a couple can now re-connect with family, friends and others from whom they had isolated themselves. They can now focus on time together as a couple may open the door to new hobbies or shared interests. And, because the decision to forego any further treatments for the time being has been made, the decision does not preclude a trip down the same road sometime in the future - or maybe a venture into adoption or other alternatives.

Nothing is Carved in Stone - There Are Options

If, after having infertility treatments for a reasonable period there is still no pregnancy, don't forget there are other options which can be considered - or the decision may be that it is no longer something either member of the couple desires. Whatever the outcome, having arrived at a place of acceptance and peace opens the door to change in the way obstacles are viewed.


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